Valentine's Day

Recommended Pairing: Twelve dozen of those rum filled chocolates.

Actively hating Valentine's Day is dumb. Seriously.

So what you don't have a significant other. Big deal. Who cares that you've been living with your parents well into your 30s with only a handful of romantic moments to speak of for your entire life. 

Going out and trying to impress the ladies is stupid. Take this guy for instance:

He broke his arm trying to look cool in front of a beautiful and sexy young woman. That's right. DON'T REWATCH THE GIF. Just trust me, he's not "dapping" the ground at the end, his arm is a broken noodley mess.

That could have been you!

I mean, what if you took a more long term approach to wooing the opposite sex? Chances are you can learn a pretty incredible skill, but that guarantees nothing. Like this talented son of a bitch:

I mean, that guy is incredible. He obviously dedicated an insane amount of time to be able to be a real life embodiment of "Rock Band," but let's be honest, there's no chance that women see him in his very own "Sing, Strum, Drum" t-shirt, singing, strumming, and drumming and just start tossing their best laceys at his face. 

Nope, scratch that. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced:

What I'm driving at is just that Valentine's Day doesn't have to make you sad. That's a shitty attitude. Seeing other people around town being all happy with each other should make you happy too. Just look at those assholes. Love's a possibility for a lot of people. Obviously it's not for everyone, but that's ok.

Being able to dunk is a possibility for a lot of people.

Then again, so is dying in a car crash.

OK. Maybe I don't really have a point, but being all butthurt on Valentine's Day because you don't have a butt to hurt is just too cliché at this point. 

Mindy Kaling is right:

Happy Valentine's Day to those with unrealistic expectations. ❤😂❤ pic.twitter.com/uQEdwEIxFV

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) February 14, 2017

You just gotta adjust your expectations. You got a whole year to learn how to play three instruments at a time, and if you don't you can always try breaking your body for a woman. 

You can do it!

'Til next week.


Wanna see more of my favorite innerwebs finds? You can read the full "Mike's Favorite Things on the Innerwebs" series right here.